


Remind Me Who We Are

by flannelfeelings



Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV)
Genre: Body Image, Comfort, Domestic, Domestic Fluff, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Jake Peralta/Amy Santiago, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Smut, Gratuitous Smut, Happy Ending, Having sex after having a baby, Insecurity, Intimacy, Jake Peralta Loves Amy Santiago, Loving Marriage, Married Couple, Married Life, Mentions of birth and other new mom things, Mild Angst, Oral Sex, Parents Jake Peralta/Amy Santiago, Post S7, Post partum insecurity, Post-Canon, Self-Esteem Issues, Smut, fluffy sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-11
Updated: 2020-07-11
Packaged: 2021-03-04 23:27:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,652
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25204714
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flannelfeelings/pseuds/flannelfeelings
Summary: Amy and Jake make love for the first time since becoming parents.
Relationships: Jake Peralta/Amy Santiago
Comments: 17
Kudos: 150





	Remind Me Who We Are

**Author's Note:**

> Tumblr, anon said: 'Hi! I have a fic request for you: Can you write about the first time Jake and Amy have sex after Mac is born? I absolutely adore all your writing! You're so good at it - and I hope you keep writing b99 fic forever!'
> 
> Thank you for sending this request in anon! I loved writing it. It really let me explore some deeply intimate moments between these two, and it gets very detailed at times so sorry if that's not your jam. You've been warned. It also allowed me to bring up some body issues I think a lot of new moms might go through. Still, I really love this concept and I enjoy writing small but significant moments like this. I hope you enjoy it!
> 
> I hope everyone enjoys and let me know your thoughts!

On special occasions, Amy’s first instinct was to go for a green dress. It was a shin-length, body-hugging forest green color, with a deep, curving v-neck. It allowed for her breasts to sit up high with a necklace perched between them, that always drew the right attention from Jake. It would mold to each contour of her body, accenting her round hips and behind, which she knew Jake also loved. It was her go-to fancy date night dress.

However, as she stared into the floor-length mirror of their bedroom, with the dress pulled up around her, the zipper a million miles from being able to close, she felt the furthest thing from fancy. She felt awful.

This dress had always fit her perfectly, even when she put on a few pounds of happy relationship weight after starting to date Jake, even when she lost it during the stress of him being in WITSEC, then prison, even when she gained it back after their engagement. No matter what she went through, this dress always seemed to have her back. Not tonight, though.

Tonight, two months post giving birth to their beautiful son McClane, Amy Santiago could not zip up her green dress.

She could feel the tears threatening her eyes, but she fought them back viciously. It was the first opportunity she and Jake were getting for a real date after becoming parents. They both had the night off, Jake was dropping Mac off at his moms as she stood there, and they wouldn’t be picking him up until tomorrow morning. They needed to make the most of the night while they could. She would not ruin it with any more hormonal episodes; surely Jake had had enough of those to last a lifetime. And honestly, she had too.

Though Amy felt like melting her unfamiliar body off with lighter fluid, she simply peeled off the too-tight dress, discarding it in a pile of laundry by the closet door, steeling herself to root for something else. She hadn’t bought any maternity dresses during her pregnancy since she mostly was in uniform or pajamas the whole time, and she worried none of her old ones would fit now. If her trusty green one didn’t, what would?

Amy tried to shake it off; Jake would be home and ready to go any minute. Her hair was curled, her makeup was done, her legs were shaved, all she needed was something to wear. She rooted around in the closet for a moment, before coming across an older black dress with long sleeves and a high neckline. It was one of her more “appropriate” fits, she often would utilize it for job interviews or meetings. It didn’t exactly scream “sexy mama” but she hoped it would fit. Amy slid the dress on over her head, pulling at the stretchy material with dismay. It fit...but _not_ well.

She felt like every one of her flaws was being shown underneath a microscope, each belly roll, each little lump of back fat, the arms that had gotten softer as she submitted to pregnancy and subsequent new motherhood. She felt like a stranger in her own body. She’d spent most of the past 7 weeks in nothing but comfortable pajamas with her hair in a sloppy bun, and she and Jake were more focused on their new baby than anything else, so neither of them had taken the time to focus on their appearances too much.

Though, Jake was lucky. He hadn’t changed the entire time. Other than putting on a few pounds of sympathy weight, he of course didn’t have the drastic shift in his entire body that she did. In a way she was angry about that, it was unfair. But she knew it wasn’t anyone’s fault. Logically, she knew she shouldn’t be so hard on herself. She’d just had a baby for crying out loud.

Still, it was hard not to be critical when she looked in the mirror and saw the unfamiliar person looking back.

Amy didn’t have much more time to ponder her insecurities, as she heard the front door open and Jake’s voice call out, “Honey, I’m home!” teasingly. She urgently brushed off the front of her dress and sighed heavily, hoping what she’d scraped together was enough.

Jake entered the bedroom, and her heart ached as she looked at him. He was perfect. Broad shoulders beneath his familiar leather jacket, a gray button up underneath and a pair of dark slacks accenting his toned legs and nice ass. The curve of his jaw, the soft pucker of his broad lips, the straight angles of his face and his large, warm brown eyes. The dynamic curl that fell over his forehead, and the neatly cut lines of hair that shaped around his ears. He smelled of crisp aftershave and mint- definitely had popped some tic tacs on the drive home.

“Wow.” Jake said as he stopped in the doorway, looking her up and down with wide eyes, “My god, Ames. You look beautiful.”

Amy rolled her eyes. She knew he was just trying to be nice, “Yeah, I definitely don’t look like a size ten sausage in a size two package.”

Amy didn’t like the way she sounded making comments on her body like that, it reminded her of things her mother used to say. As a young girl, Amy was always disturbed by the way her own mom treated her body, and it hurt her to hear. To Amy, all her brothers, and father, Camilla was the most beautiful woman on earth. But she could never see it herself.

Maybe it was genetic.

Jake frowned deeply, “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing.” Amy waved her hand dismissively and smiled, “You ready to go?”

Jake seemed a little unnerved by that, but could tell she didn’t want to talk about it, so he just nodded and held his arm out for her to take, “Yes m’lady. The child is with my incredibly responsible parents, and you and I have the entire night together.”

Amy walked forward, taking Jake’s arm with a laugh, “Why thank you my lord.”

* * *

Jake had really gone all out for their first date night since Mac. He’d reserved them a table at the same restaurant that they’d gone undercover as Johnny and Dora in. Tonight though, they could actually enjoy the amazing menu and not worry about arresting someone.

For the first time in weeks, they talked about things other than bottles, and diaper rash and sleep schedules. They talked about gruesome cop stories, they talked about who out of the Backstreet Boys they’d want to be stuck on an island with, they made absurd and unrealistic plans of taking a second honeymoon on Jupiter.

For the first time in weeks, it was just the two of them. Jake and Amy. And it felt so good.

Not that Amy didn’t love her son, but it was incredible to just have these moments with her husband again. She wouldn’t take the trade ever, Mac was the biggest blessing they’d ever had. However, it was moments like these where she was reminded and reassured that she’d chosen to spend the rest of her life with the most perfect man on the planet.

By the time they’d made it back to their front door, both laughing giddily and two glasses of champagne in (one for Amy, who was still breastfeeding and would have to pump and dump tomorrow morning) Amy had almost forgotten about the green dress.

But as soon as Jake led her into the bedroom, a familiar look of desire dawning on his expression, her eyes caught the dress atop the pile of clothes, and every single insecurity came rushing back into her body at once.

Amy and Jake had maintained a pretty active sex life during her pregnancy, even up until the end. She hadn’t really felt too insecure about her body, because all she could really notice was the belly, and it was all baby at that point. Now? It was what was left. A softer, curvier.. _.chubby_ frame.

What if Jake didn’t like it? What if after watching her give birth, watching her go days without showering, watching her breastfeed and just stay at home gaining weight, he wasn’t able to love her anymore? What if he couldn’t bring himself to be attracted to her? Sadly, she couldn’t blame him. She had never hated her appearance more.

As Jake gently lowered her on the bed, pressing gentle kisses down her jaw toward her neck, she closed her eyes. She tried desperately to focus on the familiar feeling of her husband's lips on her skin, and not her rampant insecurities. But then, his hand came sliding down her body, fingers curling around her hip to pull her closer, and panic spiked in her veins. Amy quickly grabbed his arm before he could get too tight a grasp on her, and he met her eyes with concern.

“Everything okay?” Jake breathed, and Amy was a little surprised to hear the faintest hint of lust in his voice. Probably because he hadn’t seen her fully naked in the light in a while.

“I…” she struggled to find the right words, grimacing with embarrassment, “I don’t know if...maybe we should turn off the lights?”

Jake quirked an eyebrow up curiously, as this was never a request his wife had made before. He laughed shortly, “You don’t wanna look at me? Do I have paella in my teeth?”

“That’d be weird since you ordered the lasagna.” Amy quipped, hoping to lighten the moment and distract him from the oddity of her request.

“Ames,” He coaxed gently, “Are you okay?”

“Yes.” Amy assured him, nodding quickly, “I just think it would be more romantic in the dark.”

Jake narrowed his eyes curiously, but shrugged, “Okay babe.” He climbed off of her and walked over to the light, clicking it off. They were plunged into darkness.

“Can I at least turn on the lamp?” he asked in the dark, “I can’t see anything.”

“Okay.” Amy replied hesitantly.

A moment later Jake clicked on the bedside lamp and a soft orange glow illuminated the room. He shimmied out of his leather jacket and began unbuttoning his shirt while he reapproached the bed, sliding the shirt off his shoulders as he lowered himself back on the bed, going to meet her lips again.

Amy met his mouth eagerly, wrapping her arms around him as his touch brought a familiar tugging feeling in her lower belly, a longing, a yearning she’d been feeling for weeks. His aftershave wafted off of his jaw and she breathed it in, smiling through the kiss. She felt his grip on her tighten just a bit, and his hand once again slid up the side of her body, moving along her dress until he was cupping her (much larger than normal) breast.

Amy could feel his hardening member against her leg, even though his slacks. God it felt nice to have his weight on top of her again. She hardly thought anything of it as he clumsily unbuttoned his pants and slid them down his legs, leaving him in just his briefs, which he immediately removed as well.

Amy studied him then, a bit slack-jawed. He looked just as he had nine months ago; toned stomach and chest glowing neatly in the dim lamplight. His body was lean, but muscled, tanned from taking long walks with their son in the spring afternoons. The two little dimples above his round ass were more intoxicating than she remembered; shaping up to his tensed back perfectly. His hard dick jutted out from his hips, and she wanted nothing more than to take the familiar length in her mouth and lick every inch of his perfect body.

But how the hell was she supposed to be naked in the same room as a man who looked like Jake? It just wasn’t fair to him.

Amy’s nerve all but dissipated, and she looked up at him fearfully, “I- I don’t think I can do it, Jake.”

Jake frowned worriedly, moving to sit beside her on the bed, placing his hand on her leg, “Are you okay? Does it hurt?”

“No.” She assured him, “I’m um…” she grimaced in shame, “I just don’t look the same as I did before. Not yet at least.”

Jake paused for a moment, processing her words, “What exactly are you trying to say?”

Amy sighed heavily, fiddling with the seams of her dress, “I’d rather not say it out loud. It’s embarrassing.”

“Amy.” Jake nudged her gently, brows pulling together with concern, “It’s me.”

She glanced over at his earnest, caring eyes, and her resolve crumbled. She inhaled slowly to keep her emotions in check, and simply said, “I’m fat.”

The man blinked rapidly, as if trying to make sense of her very clear words. After a moment, he slowly responded, “You’re kidding, right?”

“No, Jake.” Amy scowled, “I couldn’t even fit in my green dress. I haven’t exactly had time to workout after the baby, and-”

“Amy,” Jake cut her off, shaking his head, “We just had a baby. Your body went through something life-altering. You have to cut yourself some slack, babe.” his frown didn’t falter, “And you’re not _fat_.”

“Are you really going to pretend I look the same as I always have?” she demanded with frustration, “I’m not an idiot Jake, I have eyes.”

“Not the same,” he shrugged, “Better.”

“I don’t need pity.” Amy scowled. Jake laughed in disbelief, shaking his head, “Why would I pity you? You’re stunning.”

“You’re just saying that because you’re my husband and you’d be a dick if you didn't.” she argued. Amy knew she was being a headache and a half, but she couldn’t help it. She didn’t want to be lied to or handled, she knew she was disgusting.

“I definitely would be a dick if I didn’t,” he shrugged, “And I’d be blind. Ames, you’re perfect. Have I not told you that enough? I’m sorry.”

“No, you do all the time.” she laughed shortly without humor, “But I know you’re just saying it to make me feel better, ‘cause I’m so gross.”

“ _Gross_?” he demanded, “Um, didn’t you see me blow my nose the other day and miss the tissue and get boogers on my fingers?”

Amy fought back a smile at his words, forcing herself to remain serious, “I’m not talking about that. I’m talking about my…” she grimaced, “ _Body_.”

Jake sighed, shoulders sagging as he looked at his wife earnestly, “Amy, I know you’re probably feeling all sorts of thrown around because your body is going through a lot. I can’t even imagine what being pregnant and having a baby is like.” he reached over and took one of her hands in his, “But I am telling you, you are the most beautiful woman on the planet. You could be ten thousand pounds, or even a little dime-sized Amy, and I wouldn’t care. You’re my person, no matter what.”

Amy snorted, “Dime sized Amy?”

“Yeah.” he shrugged, “I’d carry you around in my shirt pocket.”

“It’s just hard to believe you’re saying it because it’s true.” She replied quietly, “I can’t imagine you looking at this body and doing anything but hating it the way I do.”

“Jeez Ames, do you think I’d have been hard as a rock ten seconds ago if I wasn’t attracted to you?” he demanded, seeming to realize comfort was getting him nowhere and he’d have to resort to logic and rationale.

Amy looked at her feet, “That’s because you haven’t seen me naked yet.”

“Which is a bummer, because naked Amy is my favorite type of Amy.” This time, Amy couldn’t contain the stupid smile that spread over her face, “Stop being cute! I’m trying to hate myself.”

“Well knock it off.” he insisted, “I love Amy Santiago and you’re being an ass to her.”

“You just deserve better.” She said quietly, genuine hurt seeping into her voice, “I just feel like I’ve been focusing so much on being a mom that I’ve fallen behind on being a wife. And...I don’t want you to resent me.”

Jake looked at her with horror, “That’s awful. Amy, where would you even get an idea like that? You are the mother of my child, the most amazing wife, but more importantly, you’re my best friend. I love you for all the things, your brain, your badassery, your rockin bod of course.” he shook his head, “How long have you been feeling like this?”

Amy shrugged, not meeting his eyes, “I don’t know. I mean...I’ve been worried about it for months. Even before he was born.” she chewed on her lower lip thoughtfully, “My mom and all the older women in my family always… they always told me to make sure to keep my husband satisfied. Not let myself go after I had the baby. I look at my body and it’s not someone I recognize. It’s the person they always warned me against.”

Jake grimaced viscerally, “With all due respect, fuck your mom and your family for saying that to you. That’s wrong on like a hundred different levels.” he took her chin between his fingers gently, bringing her face up to meet his eyes, “Amy, you and I are _partners_. We are here for each other and Mac. You already agreed to marry me and helped me bring a child into the world, if anything _I_ owe you for life. All that shit they shoved into your head is old, misogynistic crap, and I know you know that.”

Amy wiped at her bleary eyes quickly, “I _know._ I always told myself I wouldn’t let it get to me. I know it’s a stupid and antiquated and sexist mindset. But...everything is changing and I don’t even feel like myself anymore, and I’m worried they’re right. Maybe you won’t be attracted to me or love me the same because I couldn’t even keep myself in shape.”

“Let me go on record.” Jake said sternly, “That I, Jacob Sherlock Peralta, am _obscenely_ attracted to my sexy ass wife. That she is the most banging babe on the planet, and becoming the mother of my child has only made me love her more than I ever thought possible. That if I had it my way, we’d already be on orgasm number five right now, and you’d be walking around naked every chance you got.”

Amy found herself laughing, shaking her head gently, “You mean that?”

“Of course I do.” he insisted, “And my love for you goes far beyond how sexy you are. But you know, it’s on the record now that you make me horny. So...jot that down.”

Amy found herself lost in Jake’s expression for a moment. There he was, stark naked beside her, eyes sweet and genuine, crinkled up in a comforting smile as he tried his best to shove out her internalized misogyny and self shaming. Maybe he couldn’t fully understand it, because the truth was men just didn’t deal with the same type of matrilineal body shaming that a lot of women did. Amy thought she’d overcome that and outgrown it to become a confident young woman, but lately, her hormones and emotions took her to places she thought she’d left behind forever.

But maybe Jake meant what he said. Maybe he really did love her and want her no matter what.

“I love you.” Amy found herself saying honestly, “and I’ve wanted to fuck you for two months.”

Jake laughed gently, “Well, we don’t have to do anything you’re not comfortable with. I love you too though.”

He got to his feet to reach over and grab his boxers, but yelped in surprise as Amy swung her palm out and spanked his ass hard. He turned to face her with a grin, excitement in his eyes.

“Are you sure?” he asked eagerly. Amy chuckled and in a quick burst of confidence, she pulled the dress over her head, leaving her on the bed in a bra and panties.

“Yes.” She told him, though she could practically feel every one of her insecurities being broadcast.

Looking at her with possibly the most loving expression she’d ever seen, Jake slowly approached the bed again and bent down to bring his lips to hers.

Amy eagerly kissed back, winding her fingers in his curly hair as she tugged him closer, causing him to climb on top of her, his hands coming around her torso to unclasp her bra. Amy closed her eyes as she felt his lips move away from hers, soft, warm kisses traveling down her jaw, her throat, down to her chest. Jake was careful to kiss and lick gently at her nipples, but he knew better than to suck. It was kinda gross to acknowledge, but he didn’t want to risk any sort of milk related incident.

Jake’s tender touch continued down her body as he kissed down her breasts all the way across her stomach, his mouth moving sweetly over her abundant middle. He kissed the stark red stretch marks and soft rolls of flesh on her lower belly, and his hands lovingly came up to caress her round hips.

Amy felt warmth building inside her as his mouth came down to the edge of her panties, and his expert fingers gently pulled them down her legs, exposing her neatly trimmed bush. Jake glanced up at her curiously, as if asking for permission.

“Okay.” Amy nodded, terrified, but trying to trust him.

As soon as his lips met her center, Amy’s entire body tensed up and panic began leaking through her veins. All she could think about was the graphic birth in the precinct Jake had witnessed, and she wondered how he could ever look at her the same again, let alone put his mouth there. Was he secretly horrified and miserable?

“Relax.” Jake murmured quietly, pulling his mouth away to gently kiss her inner thighs, as if trying to prepare her, “Relax, baby. It’s me.”

“You don’t have to.” she whispered, “If you don’t want to.”

Jake laughed softly, “I’ve _wanted_ to for months. Are you ready for that?”

“I don’t know.” she admitted, “I mean...I really want you to. But I’m afraid.”

Jake planted another warm kiss to her inner thigh, and then to her vulva, “I’ll be gentle. Tell me if you need me to stop.”

“Okay.” Amy agreed, the desire to have him inside her overcoming her insecurity and fear.

Then, his lips were on her center, tongue coming out to move in slow, rhythmic circles over her clit. Amy let out a low moan as the familiar pleasure of his tongue against her began to run through her body. Jake took that as a good sign, and gently rubbed one finger along her entrance, not sliding it in yet, but working his tongue over her while he teased her parted lips to prepare her.

After weeks of waiting on a crying baby, not showering for days at a time, feeling like a milk machine and a maid, Amy felt like a _woman_ again. Her insecurities started to fade as she felt Jake’s tongue dancing over her sensitive flesh, his sole purpose to make her feel good. Entirely focused on _her_.

“Is it okay if I put a finger in?” Jake pulled away to ask softly.

“ _Please._ ” Amy encouraged him.

He offered her a short smile at that, before his tongue returned to it’s smooth, whirlpool motions on her clit. Slowly, she felt the pressure of his index finger sliding inside her, gently moving in and out once before he pulled his mouth off of her again.

“Is it okay?” he asked her, “Does it hurt?”

“Not at all.” she purred excitedly, “More.”

Jake slid another finger in, and Amy wiggled a little at the pressure.

Instantly he stilled, asking, “Ames?”

“It’s okay.” she promised, “Keep going Jake.”

“You sure?”

“Yes.”

His mouth came back to her clit again, and while he moved it expertly over her, his fingers gently slid in and out, curling up at the end as they hit her insides with a tender eagerness. She knew he was holding back, trying to ease her into it, which she appreciated. It felt fucking amazing. Seven weeks was way too long to go without this. She didn’t know how she’d waited so long.

Amy suddenly didn’t give a shit how she looked. It felt pretty inconsequential compared to the feeling of Jake’s mouth and fingers pleasuring her. Amy had heard horror stories from other moms about post-delivery dryness, low sex drive, inability to orgasm, and feared it would be the same thing for her.

As if Jake Peralta would ever let that happen.

Amy’s fists grasped the sheets as Jake was spurred on by her noises of pleasure, increasing the speed and pressure of both his tongue and fingers as he worked on her wet core.

“ _Jake_ …” she moaned, fingers coming up to tangle in his hair and tug gently.

“You taste so good Ames.” he murmured against her center, “So perfect. So perfect.”

Amy was lost to the world then. Between the pulsing movements of his tongue and the assertive back and forth of his fingers, she could feel herself drawing close. It had been so long she wasn’t surprised it didn’t take much to get to this point. Not to mention, Jake knew her well enough to know just the spots to make her feel good.

As she neared her climax, and let out a loud, whining moan, Amy’s eyes shut and she focused on what she felt. Her husbands careful, but passionate focus on her, his long, calloused fingers working their magic as he spent all his energy trying to make her feel good. His gentle words of comfort, his hard dick waiting for her. All of her fears and panic and stupid insecurities that seemed so ridiculous now that she had his mouth on her body, it all washed away.

It was just Jake and Amy. And it had never felt better.

Finally, she came down from her high, breathing heavily, knees wobbling. She noticed Jake was worriedly saying her name, and blinked her glazed eyes at him.

“Huh?” she asked breathlessly.

“Are you okay?” he repeated, propping himself up on his arms to look at her from between her legs.

“Oh.” she nodded feebly, “I’m pretty much the definition of _okay._ ”

“You came super hard.” Jake said smugly.

“Mmmhmm.” She replied weakly, already feeling the drain of a powerful orgasm starting to overwhelm her body.

He climbed up beside her and leaned on his elbow, planting a quick kiss to her cheek, “I’m proud of you.”

“We’re not done yet Peralta.” Amy said sternly, glancing down at his hard cock.

Jake looked at her unsurely, “Maybe this was a good place to start, babe. If you aren’t ready, we don’t need to do anything else right now.”

“Jake, you need to fuck me.” Amy ordered him, “I need you inside me.”

“Are you sure?” he asked.

“Yes.” Amy nodded, meeting his eyes seriously, “I mean it, Jake. I’m ready. I want you. And I’ve like...never been wetter.”

“I won’t argue with that last point.” he chuckled, then pursed his lips, “What’s best? Want me on top?”

Amy rolled over and pushed his shoulders down on the bed, wrapping her thighs around his waist and hovering above his hard dick for a moment. She looked down at his face. He had a slight beam of sweat across his forehead, his big brown eyes looking up at her with a hopeful awe. God she loved him so much.

Amy leaned down to kiss him and at the same time, lowered her hips slowly until the tip of his dick was brushing her center. He moaned against her mouth, but she kept their lips together, deepening the kiss. Slowly, Amy lowered herself until she was completely filled up with him. It was a little uncomfortable, a tight, sort of painful pressure that almost felt reminiscent of losing her virginity. But she was ready for him, she wanted him.

“Are you okay?” he asked nervously after their lips had parted by a few inches. He looked at her seriously, “You gotta tell me if it doesn’t feel good, Ames. Does it hurt?”

“A little bit.” she told him truthfully, “But it’s worth it. I want you.”

His brows pulled up worriedly, “Are you sure Amy? I don’t want to hurt you.”

“You aren’t.” she assured him, and slowly lifted her hips, sliding her wet center up the length of his dick and then back down, feeling the stretch loosen her up and grow more pleasurable with each motion.

Jake’s eyes squeezed shut and he let out a deep, gravely moan. She knew it wouldn’t take him long either; seven weeks was quite a while to go without cumming.

“You okay?” he asked in a breathless, tight whisper.

“Stop worrying about me.” she murmured.

“Not possible.” he replied, eyes still shut in pleasure.

Jake’s hands came up around her hips to grip tight as Amy slowly gained speed and smooth motion, sliding up and down his dick as her palms lay flat on his chest. She had to admit, even though it started off a bit uncomfortable, she was quickly growing used to it again and it felt amazing. He wasn’t exactly small, so she was impressed with how quickly the pain was turning to ecstasy. Probably had a lot to do with how ready he’d gotten her.

“ _Fuck_ -Amy.” Jake moaned, eyes still shut as she rode him rhythmically. Amy leaned closer and sucked on his neck, leaving little red markings on his skin as she did so, her hips still grinding down on his. Jake’s grip on her ass tightened marginally as his dick hit deep, and hard. It was a bit of a shock to her system, but it wasn’t painful, so she didn’t stop.

“Amy, I’m gonna-”

“Come for me, baby.” Amy whispered in his ear, teasing his earlobe between her teeth the way he liked.

 _“Mmmmmm…_ ” he let out a deep, guttural moan, and Amy pulled back to study his expression as he came. His eyes were still shut, dark lashes brushing up against his cheeks as his straight nose scrunched up just the slightest. His mouth fell open in a tight O, and the little gap in his teeth was visible behind his soft pink lips. His hips bucked up against hers sloppily, and she rode it out with him, watching the angles of his face contort into an expression of pleasure she hadn’t seen in far too long.

After a moment, Jake’s eyes reopened and his breathing steadied slightly. He looked up at Amy with wide eyes, bringing his hand up to tuck a lock of dark hair behind her ear, gently brushing his knuckles over her cheek. She took his wrist in her hand and brought his knuckles to her lips, kissing each one lovingly.

“Are you okay?” he asked breathlessly, “Any pain?”

“Not at all.” She assured him.

“You sure?” he checked again, “Nothing feels weird? You feel okay?”

“I’m okay.” Amy promised, caressing his face with her hand, “I love you Jake.”

“I love you so much Amy.”

“Thank you.” she said shyly, “For...reminding me what we have. That I’m so much more than just this body I’m in.”

“This _beautiful_ amazing body.” he said, wrapping his arms around her torso and pulling both of their bodies up as he sat up against the headboard, still inside her. He kissed her warm chest adoringly, resting his face in the crook of her neck as she slowly ran her fingers down the back of his neck and spine.

“You really don’t care that I’m heavier now?” Amy asked quietly.

Jake scoffed, face still buried in her skin, “Amy, do you not realize that you’re the settler and I’m the reacher in this relationship? You thinking you’re somehow anything less than utterly stunning is confusing to me.”

“I love you.” Amy repeated, overwhelmed with how much she fucking loved this man.

“Ditto.” he smiled against her chest, and then pulled away to look at her face once more, “You’re sure you’re okay? Nothing hurts anywhere? Your stomach, or your vagina or back?”

“Totally fine.” she promised, “I feel so good.”

Jake sighed, sounding relieved as his head fell against her chest again, and she resumed her gentle stroking of his hair, “I’m really glad you married me, Ames.”

“Me too.” She whispered.

“I miss Mac.” He admitted.

Amy laughed gently, “So do I. But let’s appreciate this full night of sleep while we can.”

“Good call.” Jake gently rolled them sideways and pulled their bodies apart, leaning in once more to plant a soft, loving kiss on Amy’s mouth, “And just for the record Amy, if you’re ever feeling like that again...come and talk to me, okay? You can’t be walking around thinking these awful things about yourself. You’re too damn good for that. If we need to _see_ someone...we can.”

“I’m okay.” she assured him, knowing he’d been worried and on the look out for postpartum depression signs since he’d first learned about it, “If I’m feeling weird again I’ll talk to you. But you really did make me feel better.”

Jake pulled her against his body and kissed her hair, “You’re my person.”

“You’re my person too.” She replied warmly.

That night, they fell asleep still naked, curled up in each other’s arms, and for the first time in two months, they slept through the entire night uninterrupted. Completely at peace.

Amy woke up the next morning feeling more confident than she had in months. 


End file.
